When you were a child, suppressing or avoiding the feelings about the abuse was the only way to cope. Now you are an adult, it becomes possible, slowly, to face and process these feelings. And this in turn means that the strategies you developed to avoid the feelings are no longer needed.
The natural process of feelings is that you feel them, and then they pass. Feelings never last forever. They don’t even last for very long at a time – they tend to come, go, come back, and go again, until they are fully processed. The only feelings that stick around for long periods are feelings you are putting off experiencing out of fear.
Remember, feelings can’t kill you. By definition, they are smaller than you; they are inside you, not the other way around. They can’t sweep you away or drown you.
Having said this, facing and processing these feelings should be done carefully and slowly. We are not big fans of dramatic ‘emotional breakthroughs’. This work doesn’t have to be done quickly. It is safer and less exhausting to do it slowly and in manageable chunks.
In very broad and simple terms, the process of counselling for child abuse goes something like this:
To begin with you will learn basic skills for recognizing and managing anxiety as it comes up. This prepares you for the real work.
We are definitely not suggesting that you should use this outline to do this work by yourself. This work should only be carried out with the support of one or more professionals specializing in trauma-informed counselling or therapy. Dangerous memories should only be confronted in a safe environment. Contact us on 02 6247 2525 to fins out more about how SAMSSA can help you.
The Canberra Rape Crisis Centre acknowledges that we conduct our work on the lands of the Ngunnawal & Ngambri People, Traditional Custodians of the Canberra region. We pay respect to First Nations Peoples and Elders past and present throughout the nation. We recognise the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities, and acknowledge that lands were never ceded.
Canberra Rape Crisis Centre
Service Assisting Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
P.O Box 3805,
WESTON CREEK, ACT 2611
Admin & Business Enquiries:
Business Phone Line (02) 6287 3618
Email crcc@crcc.org.au
Crisis Support & Services Information:
Crisis Phone Line (02) 6247 2525
Crisis Text Contact Only 0488 586 518
Crisis Email Contact crisis@crcc.org.au
Community Education & Training Enquiries:
Business Phone Line (02) 6287 3618
Email cep@crcc.org.au
CRCC is committed to excellence in service provision, intersectional feminism, access & equity, diversity & inclusion.
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